February 11th 2009 9.56 am [The A.M.]

Yesterday I thought of at least 38.9763 different things I wanted to say... I wanted to wait until I got home to type them because it's to hard to concentrate at work on writing something that is coherent enough to be readable (is readable a word?? and is that just repative in this sentence). I tried so hard all day to hold on too those thoughts ....... and then when I got home.... I fell asleep and none of them got written... and then they were kinda lost in my head somewhere...

By the way, I just deleted the last couple of sentences I wrote after telling myself I wouldn't. In the end it had to be done because of two reasons. One being i hated those sentences, and two being I hated them so much it was distracting me from writing anything more.

So now that that is out of the way .....

I am trying to remember at least parts of my thoughts from yesterday and what I've come up with is as follows:

- I need to take a photograph of a sea-saw
I needed this picture because I was feeling like i was on one. I was going to write about how I have crazy/intense mood swings but right at this moment I think I'm riding with someone of equal weight. And so I don't really have a lot to say about this at the moment. We can see if that is still true at the end of this post. Also I think I do not really want a photograph of an actual sea-saw (this spelling is right??) because that is just way to literal and unclever (spell check doesn't know this word sorry), so I will give you this photo instead... I took it this morning on the way into work and a lady almost ran over me because she didn't see me crouched down photographing oil spots in the parking lot ...




- Brainstorm ballon thingy outlines always help right??
I was thinking of drawling a diagram of my life as is now, to show how I got to my present state of hysteria. Actually I still might do that because it's kinda like a quick history guide and if anyone is reading this blog they are going to be like "WTF MATE". Also I think it could be fun because it will give me a reason to scribble and I like that.

- I Turned into one of Those People ...
So............ it is February 11th, well 10th because I was thinking this yesterday, which means nothing... except that it is almost the 14th. I never used to be one of those "haters". I mean I never was really really into this day before, but I always thought it was nice.... now I'm counting down the days nervously like I will be exploding at three quarters past sometime on this day. I can't wait for this mood swing it should be fairly dramatic if im antisipating correctly.


- Invitationsssssssssss??!!??!?!?!?!!??!?!??
I was thinking of "inviting" more people to read this... but as I am at work right now and instead of doing what I am supposed to be doing.... I am typing this mess. So this poses a kinda problem because now I should probably be selective. Part of me wants post this up and go "Hey Look Inside My Crazy Head Everyone!!" and then the other part is going ... "You are El Stupido, because if you do that then you will have to force yourself to be less honest because you are afraid to discomfort anyone and that is part "the reasons" (i will elaborate later ) And because you will get fired! Repeatedly!" and given my current employment situation ... it would be pretty pathetic to be fired.


Okay so for now I have to go because the work is piling up ...

-END OF PART ONE-